Dear R,
I talked to Michael. Michael is a registrar a rotation ahead of me. I needed to talk to someone (who can share me the truths) badly. He advised me to keep my head down in CYMHS, go with the flow, get my things signed and to hopefully never return. This is such a good practical advice, why hadn't I thought of it before. I told Michael I am too naive and brainless that I have to learn some lessons the hard way. He comforted me that he did the same, but only on the his last MDT day with the team. I can't pinpoint the problem. I feel unfulfilled and not happy in the Eating Disorder team. I start to understand what Farai told me. She said Older Persons is a good team, although technically many things are broken. She said I will miss them. She is right. Sometimes I daydream of bringing biscuits and snacks to their office, giving and getting free hugs.
Maybe I should stop trying to show or prove my worth, to state the obvious. And maybe I can guess why now Laszlo loves the CL office and the people in there so much. I am enjoying the CL part too. I am just slowly getting used to the people.
But, is there no right or wrong in this world? I feel tired of it all. I feel misplaced.
